What have I done?
by Nap Team Captain
Summary: AU where Anna doesn't thaw and Elsa is having an inner war with herself as she blames the death of her sister on her actions.


**What have I done?**

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Revolves around Elsa's heart-crushing feels when Anna gets frozen.

Rating : T

Genres : Angst, Hurt and (not really) Comfort.

Characters : Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, Sven, Hans, Duke of Weselton (Weaseltown), the people of Arendelle and Arendelle trade partners.

Status : One-shot, complete.

Warning, this story may cause you to experience/feel : Sadness, Guilt, Gross sobbing, Pent up anger, Grief, Lies, Death, the FEELS.

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"NO!"

That voice!

Her head snaps up with a jolt and before her is her sister.

But no – it can't be her.

She refuses to believe it.

This thing in front of her. This thing was blue and ice and dead and hard. Her sister is flesh and blood and life and joy.

No, no – this isn't Anna.

But that doesn't stop her from shouting out her sister's name and embracing her.

_It can't end like this. This is not how I wanted it to be. I was supposed to protect you! Your hugs are supposed to be warm!_

She wanted to scream at herself.

_What have I done?_

She doesn't remember a thing after that.

She doesn't remember the sound of heavy footsteps and hooves.

She doesn't remember someone shouting out; "Monster! Monster!"

She doesn't remember a familiar man protesting about her innocence.

She doesn't remember that evil voice inching closer, calling her things that she did not want to become and boots scrapping on the frozen fjord.

She was numb – and then she was violently shoved to the side.

_No, no! Get away from us! Get away from my sister!_

She was harshly brought back to reality and she gets up from being thrown to the ground and just stands there.

She just stands there. A few feet away from her _dead_ sister and the crowd of her trade partners and her people.

No, they weren't her people anymore.

She wasn't a queen. She was a murdered. She doesn't deserve to rule.

She watched them as they touch her sister with curios hands and look at the frozen girl with concern eyes.

The princess of Arendelle; frozen solid.

She stands there. Stricken with grief. Feet glued to the fjord. Eyes widen and mouth trembling.

She doesn't understand. She can't process how this happens or maybe she just doesn't want to process it. She doesn't want to think and ask herself all these questions because she knows that once she finds the answers then more questions will bloom and they'll stretch out into more complicated ones that will stick in her head and destroy her. Like branches on a tree; growing, expanding.

She'll ask herself _why_ then it'll turn to; Why me? Why not them? Why did this happen? Why didn't anyone help me? Why? Whywhywhy?

She stares down at the scene before her.

She wishes for a miracle.

She wishes for her sister to drop her statue act or jump out from somewhere and go "Haha, I got you!" like when she was younger and wanted her older sister's attention.

Ice. A lifeless corpse. People gathering around the hollow dead puppet. Words. Moaning. Grieving. Tears.

Her sister.

Her sister is dead.

Oh god why? Oh god, what has she done?

She wants to say something. Anything. But she can't and that just boggles her more.

Her heads is swimming with memories and her skull echoes the things she wants to say but nothing comes out. Why? WHY?!

Her stomach is churning with nausea and she feels like she wants to vomit everything that she has to offer. She can't focus. Her brain is like a kaleidoscope. Changing colours with every twist, shapes morphing and blending, a new picture painted with every small additional move. But her throat. God, her throat is desert dry. The words abandon her like a forgotten fable. How can her mind be so consumed but her throat so empty?

Say something. Speak. Talk. Yell. Scream.

At least cry.

She can do nothing. She's an actress in a silent film. She wants it to stop.

Stop! Just _stop_. Why won't you stop?

But of course it doesn't. It doesn't stop. It keeps playing out before her and everyone is too busy to notice her having an inner battle with herself.

_You sister is dead. She's dead and it's all your fault._

She wants the people to look at her and she wants someone to hold her. Anyone, anyone at all.

Please. _Please._

She's dead too. She's not alive, she's far from that but she's still breathing over here.

She wants someone to comfort her … and she feels selfish right after the thought enters her mind.

_What have I done? What have I done?!_

She wonders why no one is even bothering to grab her and lock her up.

Then she hears him. Him, the prince of the Southern Isles. Telling the Duke about what had happened and everyone near perks up and eavesdrops on the story.

He tells the old man about her sorcery. He tells him of her powers to summon her dead sister's copse from beneath the fjord like a demon ascending from hell. He tells him about how she laughed wickedly and used her powers to fight him. Him; her sister's fiancé, her sister's one true love. The prince tells the aging man how his fiancée acted as a shield to protect her sister –no, not sister, this horrible monster from his sword and he tells the man how he couldn't face the princess's solid form and how she, the witch, wrapped the frozen princess in a hug for being such a _good_ sister.

_Lies!_

Lieslieslies. He's lying!

She wanted to yell.

How did they not see her grieving? She was in pain and he wasn't!

_Believe me. Please believe. What have I done?_

But she knows that no one will ever look at her the same way again and she knows why everyone is believing the farce the prince is telling.

It came to her mind that her powers had blinded everyone from the scene of her wanting to die and his sword raised above her. The snowy cloud raging around and covering everyone's eyes with secrets and sick lies.

No one closes in on her because they know she can't run away anymore.

She has no where else to go and no one left to protect.

Her feet drag behind her in a wobbly step and she chokes a sob.

Suddenly they turn to her.

Eyes harden with disgust and frowns that chilled her to the bone.

"Hang her!" someone yells and she's a second too late when they grab her by her long icy train and drag her to her destination to meet death himself.

"No! NO!" she screams, tears blur her eyes and her hands are outstretched to grasp onto something.

_Make it stop! Stop, stop!_

She can't escape from these people. She doesn't get the opportunity to run away again. Her luck has run out.

The last thing she sees are the people of Arendelle still crowding around her dead sister then everything goes dark as her skull connects with something hard.

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**END**

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**Author's Note**

First of all; Dang it! I told myself I wouldn't write again!

Secondly; What the fuck did I just write? I didn't intend to do this! I was thinking about random shit and this just happened. My brain is fucked up.

Thirdly; I am SO fucking sorry.

Fourth; Please no anon hate. I didn't ask you to read this. I just posted it and I'm pretty sure the genres I labelled it was warning enough.


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